It seems to me symptomatic of the current noxious, damaging and unhealthy societal attitude towards food that, for a large proportion of the population- myself included- what we choose to put in our mouths pervades our thoughts endlessly. Over time, growing up and entering the adult world, I have ever increasingly endowed food with emotional rather than functional qualities, to the point where my chaotic diet and food 'rules' carry the symbolic burden of the atrophic relationship I have with my own body image.
This love-hate relationship that I have with food began in my early teenage years. A trigger in the form of a life event was all it took to act as the catalyst that resulted in years of living in a cycle of feast and famine. This also included categorising foods into groups that are virtuous and sinful, reproaching myself for food 'crimes', a lot of emotional (not to mention physical) pain, and lamentation of all the lost time that I could instead have used to make friends and be out laughing and living life.
Food should be about enjoyment, energy and nutrition. Instead it is often about control, shame and self-esteem. I have noticed a general dichotomy of attraction and repulsion towards food within our society- I expect many of you will have experienced this for yourselves. Ultimately this results in a state where we become detached and desensitised from the instinctive and nutritional health needs of our own bodies, replaced by fluctuating and emotionally driven eating habits that only further reinforce the antagonism we feel towards food and our physical appearance.
One of my next blog posts is going to feature the terrifying illness which is bulimia. Although anorexia is also a topic of unease that I will cover, nevertheless it attracts a lot of media coverage- spurred on by the pernicious gossip magazines that seem horribly engrossed and fascinated with the amount of fat on the bodies of female 'celebs'. The effects of anorexia are also quite perceptible, as the body suffers from drastic weight loss and the mind becomes drained of energy for speech.
Bulimia on the other hand has always felt to me more of a taboo topic as it involves repeated and compulsive episodes of traumatic physical sickness, which are in themselves quite upsetting and usually remain hidden and out of sight. I don't think anyone walking down the street would be able to detect that I have had bulimia at any stage in my life. It gains its addictive powers by being an insidious and secretive disease of the mind.
However, there is hope out there for sufferers and I hope by talking about it others will not feel so alone.
This love-hate relationship that I have with food began in my early teenage years. A trigger in the form of a life event was all it took to act as the catalyst that resulted in years of living in a cycle of feast and famine. This also included categorising foods into groups that are virtuous and sinful, reproaching myself for food 'crimes', a lot of emotional (not to mention physical) pain, and lamentation of all the lost time that I could instead have used to make friends and be out laughing and living life.
Food should be about enjoyment, energy and nutrition. Instead it is often about control, shame and self-esteem. I have noticed a general dichotomy of attraction and repulsion towards food within our society- I expect many of you will have experienced this for yourselves. Ultimately this results in a state where we become detached and desensitised from the instinctive and nutritional health needs of our own bodies, replaced by fluctuating and emotionally driven eating habits that only further reinforce the antagonism we feel towards food and our physical appearance.
One of my next blog posts is going to feature the terrifying illness which is bulimia. Although anorexia is also a topic of unease that I will cover, nevertheless it attracts a lot of media coverage- spurred on by the pernicious gossip magazines that seem horribly engrossed and fascinated with the amount of fat on the bodies of female 'celebs'. The effects of anorexia are also quite perceptible, as the body suffers from drastic weight loss and the mind becomes drained of energy for speech.
Bulimia on the other hand has always felt to me more of a taboo topic as it involves repeated and compulsive episodes of traumatic physical sickness, which are in themselves quite upsetting and usually remain hidden and out of sight. I don't think anyone walking down the street would be able to detect that I have had bulimia at any stage in my life. It gains its addictive powers by being an insidious and secretive disease of the mind.
However, there is hope out there for sufferers and I hope by talking about it others will not feel so alone.
Well done for starting your blog Georgia. Very brave and beautiful writing.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
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